Mailbag: May 2003
From: Chris
Date: 9 May 17:28 (PDT)
Subject: You
Greetings --
Your site gave me a much-needed laugh, though for a minute I thought I had stumbled onto a Wal-Mart subsidiary. (I realized my mistake when I found the REAL Wal-Mart merchandise under "CrapSale"!)
Since someone had asked about the dubious legality of using the US Flag on clothing, advertising, etc, I thought I'd enclose the following excerpts from US Code 36, Chapter 10 -- commonly referred to as the US Flag Code:UNITED STATES CODE, TITLE 36, CHAPTER 10 (Patriotic Customs)
Section 176 (Respect for flag)
(d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below, should be used for covering a speaker's desk, draping the front of the platform, and for decoration in general.
(i) The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.
(j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations. The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing. Therefore, the lapel flag pin being a replica, should be worn on the left lapel near the heart.
(k) The Flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.This particular piece of legislation should be forwarded to every shopping mall, car dealership, & Wal-Mart in the US. Sometimes I think that the entire world is turning into one giant issue of The Onion...
Thanks for the laugh...
Regards,
Chris, foreign devil (from Canada)From: Kerry
Date: 19 May 15:18 (PDT)
Subject: peepeecaca
I laughed so hard at your flag-o-rama site, I think I hurt myself! And I think you're the only other person I've ever heard use the phrase "peepeecaca". Thanks for making me laugh!
Kerry from Kansas
From: Tony
Date: 18 May 15:14 (PDT)
Subject: Flaggetry
Hey Barry,
I saw your site on MetaFilter. Pretty funny. Your concept dovetails with a word I made up not long after September 11th that I think you might like to help me spread.
Flagget (noun) a person expressing excessive Patriotism withought good reason or sincerity. ex: That flagget over there has 6 flags on his car but hasn't voted since 1970!
We also use "flaggetry" pretty commonly. As in: "Take a loot at that flaggetry over there." Anyway, thought you'd enjoy it. You might also like www.carnalcookies.com
Have a good one,
Tony
From: Subhash
Date: 15 May 08:24 (PDT)
Subject: Misuse of flag
In most civilized countries, putting the national flag on tampons, shoes, zit-removers, etc. would get one a place in the penitentiary for the crime of using the national symbol inappropriately.Yes... but somehow I think these items would actually sell here in the U.S. We're not THAT civilized.
From: Chris
Date: 15 May 08:10 (PDT)
Subject: Bad taste patriotism
Barry:
I love your site. I found it via a link from thismodernworld.com which once featured a pizza box with a really inappropriate patriotic message. At the time, I though that it would be a neat little project to compile a list of these items but I never did. So thanks for enabling my laziness.
Another offshoot of 9/11 which resulted in even more inappropriate displays was the whole "God Bless America" meme. A nice sentiment, but some of the signs outside of businesses seemed to trivialize it. My favorite sighting was "God Bless America" over "Lube and filter special." I wish I had taken pictures of some of these but I've already established my procrastination credentials.
Did you ever read The Onion? I bet if you snooped around their archive, you could find the "article" about the bin Laden urinal cakes. Your site, though, renders satire obsolete -- good job.
From: Robert
Date: 19 May 17:12 (EDT)
Subject: Flagwaving
Barry,
Loved the site. Just one question.
I read your disclaimer, but I'm not sure I buy it. Even if all of this "flag waving" is being marketed to enrich the pockets of the shareholders...what's wrong with it? You did a great job explaining why it bugs you, but did a poor job explaining what's wrong with it. Personally, I don't find anything wrong with it. This is a free market economy; and if I were a shareholder of any of these companies, I would expect them to maximize my investment.
So this gets us back to the patriotism question. If marketing these items leads to increased shareholder value, which in turn leads to increased investment and increased economic activity -- then why should it bother a person. Afterall, strong economic growth is good for the country. So when somebody is opposed to it, others want to know why. And the most obvious conclusion -- whether right or wrong -- is that the person is really bugged about the flag waving -- as if they were ashamed of it for some reason.Basically, to me, some things just weren't meant to be exploited for money. Making money isn't evil, but when you abuse something for profit that many people hold in such high regard, it cheapens the meaning behind it. The flag has been turned into a corporate logo used to sell products in the guise of patriotism. Even the Flag Code states that this is not to be done, out of respect for the flag and what it stands for, but that never stops an opportunist looking to cash in on the post-9/11 patriotism boom.
From: Brian
Date: 15 May 06:30 (PDT)
Subject: a touch of irony...
Beautiful (i.e., ugly) flag site...I am spreading the link to all...the hate mail you get must be entertaining.
I noticed some further noteworthy irony with the wonderful Ground Zero notepad--with every note you take, you're that much closer to leveling the towers yourself. Surely, someone realized this during manufacture...
Keep it up!
-Brian
From: Sean
Sent: Friday, May 16, 2003 11:56 AM
Subject: Your flg waving site
Barry:
A friend sent me your patriotic site. It's really funny. Keep up the good work.
Sean
PS Last night there was a Sac Kings game in which a sportscaster said, "If you don't like Krispy Kreme Donuts, you're probably unamerican." Oh Lord. Keep Hope alive!
From: Steve
Date: 14 May 18:05 (PDT)
Subject: Silverware of the free
> Silverware of the Free - Yes, food actually
> tastes better with these marvelous pieces of silverware. Each
> bite becomes a tribute to America! Crafted with care by
> underpaid metal smiths for your dining pleasure, these shiny
> beacons of freedom are perfect for stuffing your face with
> pride 'n' glory! - $79.95 per set
Do these work with French Cuisine?
Steve
From: Andrew
Date: 14 May 22:13 (PDT)
Subject: I disagree, but hey its still funny
Well your site was rather funny even though I see nothng wrong with showing a flag to support your nation. Maybe you were a bit over the top on a few to boot, however I'll assume that it was all men't in jest. So good job, I enjoyed your site even if it seems we disagree on more then a few things.
From: Jane
Date: 11 May 15:44 (CEST)
Subject: absolutely fantastic
Dear Barry,
Thanks!!! This site had beverage shoooting out my nose. Um, that isn't what I'm thanking you for though. Are these products for real???!!!
Folks need to see this site to realize that flags do NOT mean patriotism. Flags are pieces of cloth imbued with meanings that we ourselves create. By putting them on everything, are we endowing those things with those meanings or stripping that cloth of them instead? What do you think? I am not sure these days anyhow.
Moreover, such products make us look AWFUL in the eyes of others. Yup, the people who buy this crap do not care what others think until it has a personal impact on them. Ah well.
Good luck facing the abuse you are sure to receive. Take care.
Jane
(I've spread the news to all my friends.)
From: Bethany
Date: 14 May 11:21 (PDT)
Subject: Love your website!!
Barry,
I just wanted to say thanks for all the falling-down laughs I got from your website,and also,oddly, the message at the end where you pointed out the idiocy of those selling (and buying) these flag products. It's revoltin' alright, but it does make for a good laugh that people are stupid enough to actually LIKE these things. (as in "better to laugh than cry")
Also I know how much work is involved in putting a website together!
Gratefully,
Bethany
From: DethRokrX
Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2003 8:06 PM
Subject: No Subject
Great site, thank you!. You are definitely more of a patriot than Bill O'Reilly.
From: Teddy
Date: 10 May 17:51 (PDT)
Subject: Yer site
I was sitting here 'n my big California Double King-Sized bed when some wag emailed me yer site and asked me to "check it out."
My God...never in my flag-waving life as a 'superduperpatRIOT' has I seen such an amalgam of collector items for some future edition of "Antiques Roadshow" under....well...one American flag woven tent (suppose ya got one of dem somewhere).
Here I am, a red-blooded AmeriCAN, sitting in my huge bed on a Saturday evening, no one else is in it, Please Note, sort'a like drivin' a Hummer on the 405 durin' rush hour, and I read in the "LA Times," May 10,2003, "DOOR OPENED FOR NEW ERA OF NUCLEAR ARMS," that our fearless leader's gonna build some great new 'pocket atomic bombs,' to be used on some future date should some scum-suckin' anti-American, French spewing, pagan even think, 'cause thinkin's bad, of driving one of their New York Yellow Cabs, bought with U.S. Taxpayer dollars under some questionable liberal give-away program from that semi-commie/Marxist Hillary RodHam Clinton, into one of our American Icons loaded with fertilizer.
God, Long Live America An' send me one of everything!!!
-teddy
The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.. ~ Albert Einstein (born March 14, 1879)
From: ARGONBOB22
Date: 11 May 01:14 (PDT)
Subject: awesome site
I must say, you've hit the nail on the head here. I'd like to establish that I am a patriotic American, but an anti-nationalist. We should respect our flag and boycott products with the flag stamped on them for market appea;, such as stickers. I choose not to fly a flag for my own reasons, I have the right to do so. This is the same right that others have to CHOOSE whether or not to display a flag. I hope the person who owns the Ford Phallus understands that this choice is one of the most American things this country has to offer. I am not offended by his choice to fly a flag, however, the sign on the back I find quite unnerving. Are we not allowed to make a choice? Are we all supposed to adorn ourselves in red, white and blue, while shunning those who make a different decision? That is not freedom. That is not American.
One last thing about the Ford Phallus... I hope that the owner realizes he is disrespecting the flag by having it on his car. It is one of the simplest guidelines in the list of rules for flag etiquette: (please excuse my paraphrasing) The flag shall not, in any way, be used as a decoration on an automobile of any sort.
Thanks for the laughs,
Devo
From: Mary MacElveen
Date: 10 May 04:54 (PDT)
Subject: I Love Your Web Page.
You know what, people would buy these products to show their patriotism, instead of actually doing what patriots should do. And that is to actually question what the hell is going on. Thanks for your wonderful page.
Best Regards,
Mary MacElveen
CLG Contributing Writer/ http://www.legitgov.org
From: ELLewers
Date: 10 May 14:19 (PDT)
Subject: website
Absolutely fantastic!!! At first, I thought a friend had sent me to a serious website -- and I was appalled. The fact that I wasn't certain it was a spoof until I got to the pore sucker is a testament to your incredible creativity and to the bizarre levels of nationalism that many Americans have sunk to. You've done a fantastic job holding up the mirror of satire, and I commend you.
From: The Nolans
Date: 9 May 19:10 (PDT)
Subject: barry
I read you disclaimer. I thought the site was very funny, until I read the Please Send section, and other such stuff.
Funny how you use satire and abuse certain members of our country all at the same time. You missed the niggers, chinks, gooks, spics, wetbacks etc. ,but hit on the southern white christians pretty good.
Your joke ads belie the truth
From: Bob
Date: 10 May 00:15 (PDT)
Subject: You nailed it.
A great, honest counter to the mindless morons and their no-brainer patriotism. As this country slides into a totalitarian state, nothing is more depressing than to see the dittoheads buying the patriotic bullshit from the chickenhawk hucksters who are contributing to the establishment of a corporate fascist dictatorship.
Your website has said it all....I'll be sending this around!
See you in Gitmo...
Bob
Dexter, ME
From: beckylue
Date: 9 May 07:06 (PDT)
Subject: Right on!
HI there,
Loved your site! I remember one time pre 911 I was putting up my flag for no "reason". My neighbor asked what the holiday it was. I answered there wasn't one. He mumbled something then went back inside. Now it seems like everyone is flying the flag as an attention getter. I am not flying the flag on my house anymore, but it will always fly in my heart.
Becky
From: Trudy
Date: 9 May 11:55 (PDT)
Subject: Thank you sooo much
What a great relief. Just when I thought there was no more humor left, you found a way to prove me wrong. Thank you.
The best way to defeat these sunshine patriots is to riducle and laugh at their supreme stupidity. I am sending the link to your site to all I know, they too need a laugh.
Trudy
Olympia, WA
From: Tyler
Date: 7 May 11:30 (PDT)
Subject: site
WHY DONT YOU GO BACK TO IRAK YOU COMMY SCUM. DONT YOU KNOW YOU CANT MAKE FUN OF AMERICA OR PRESDENT BUSH OR ELSE HE WILL PUT YOU IN JAIL IN CUBA YOU LIBRAL TRASH.
I'm just kidding. You have a wonderful site. Although I must admit it's kind of fun to write reactionary hate mail...
Keep on fighting for the American way,
Tyler
From: Todd
Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2003 3:21 AM
Subject: fantastic!
What a masterpiece of creativity you have here! Today is the first time I have seen your site, and it reflects the smoke-and-mirrors mentality that disgusts my friends and family on a daily basis. Keep up the excellent work. In a few days, I will have a picture to send you that you will find hilarious, or sickening (you choose). Sincerely, Todd Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
From: IACTucson
Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2003 12:44 AM
Subject: Just a Thought
I do see the satire on your web page, but I question your motivation.
I would rather see somebody trying to make money selling flags than have sexuality and pornography marketed to my family.Porn marketed to your family? Where did that come from? Sorry, I can't help ya there. My entire point is summarized in the disclaimer...