Flag-O-Rama!

Memorial Day Hideous T-Shirt Blowout!

Did an American flag just throw up all over these shirts?  This binge drinking must stop!

Patriotic child-spawn wants to nom your flesh

Either this kid is really feeling pride for his country...or he's looking to eat my brains with his sharp little chiclet teeth.  I can't quite decide.  This is one case where the ugly-ass hat can be forgiven because the person wearing it is SO VERY SCARY!
 

Throw it up, throw it down

Go ahead, walk across this U.S. flag throw.  Stomp all over it!  We dare you.  Why?  Because the moment you do, your name will magically show appear in the Terrorist Unamerican Reconnaissance Database (a.k.a. TURD).  Good luck getting on a plane this Christmas, sucka!

Open wide!

Many people like having their patriotism spoon-fed to them, and these spoons take it to a whole new (and literal) level.  Heeeeeere comes the choo-choo...

About that flaggy Jesus photo...

Of all the photos on this site, my Photoshop job of Jesus wrapped in an American flag (originally seen on this post) has been linked to the most.  One guy, not aware that it was a parody image, blogged about it in detail a couple of years ago...and it's actually quite interesting.  Click the link to read more!  (Read the comments, too. :)

And here we have perhaps the most blatantly idolatrous picture of the American Jesus that I have seen thus far. This image seems to communicate a few essential features of the American perversion of the image of Christ in contemporary imagination.

via www.inhabitatiodei.com

Is Flag-O-Rama a hoax??

Amusingly, this site has been posted on hoax.com by someone who can't quite decide if the items posted here are real or not.  User "Evillyspinning" is obviously torn:

Why I think this website might be real
Now that the site has gotten itself a new URL, Flag-o-Rama has turned more into a blog than a flag store.  At least, that's how I see it.  Though featured gift items (supposedly for patriots) here are on the humorous, satirical side, I don't consider this site as a hoax.  For one, the gift items could actually be manufactured.  Good examples are teddy bears using white, blue, red colors and a printed U.S. flag with halo.  Another good gift item is the "Uncle Sam" headcover.  I've seen a lot of similar designs, one that features U.S, flag colors and logos.  These gift items may very well be identified as novelty items, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

Why I think this website might be fake
This is site is obviously not intended for patriots.  In fact, some descriptions can be offensive.  Whether the gift items are real or not, they serve as parodies of good ol' American way of life and other U.S. events.  I also don't believe that such items do exist, and I doubt if real patriots would consider buying one. Judging by the site's content, there's no doubt that it is simply made to poke fun and elicit a few laughs from the not so conservative Americans.  All the items here are satirical in nature.

via www.hoax.com

This is interesting because it never occurred to me that people might think the items posted here are fake items, like the ridiculous stuff in the "shop" (which is all this site was in the beginning).  But let me assure you:  as much as I wish it weren't true, all items posted here are 100% real.  The tacky tableware, the ugly shirts and jackets, the tasteless dresses and party favors and cheese plates, all of it is actually for sale and be purchased with your hard-earned money.  You can't buy this stuff here, of course, but with a little Googling you can find it.

Uncle Sam is watching...with his dead, wooden eyes

Creepy...as...hell.  Who in the world would want this thing anywhere near their house?  Look at it!  This is the kind of thing you find in horror movies where a ghastly carved idol is brought into the house and proceeds to come alive and start eating people.

Tray chic

When true, proud Amurrricans are ready for dinner, they plop down on the couch and eat on this grotesque dinner tray.  Look, it's big enough to hold three, maybe even four buckets of chicken!

American flag hard hats for the soft of head

Anything that falls on these hard hats must be an unAmerican, flag-hatin' terrrst!
 

Breaking wind was never so patriotic

Feel like breaking some serious wind?  Then wrap yourself in this U.S. flag windbreaker, baby!  The chicks will flock to you like cheetahs to a helpless antelope.

T-Shirt of the Free™

This is the perfect shirt to wear whilst touring war-torn countries, especially the ones America is currently bombing and/or occupying.  You know--just to remind 'em who's boss.  (Note:  this item is not bulletproof.)

Wrap 'em around your neck

These tastefully subtle neckties are sure to get you noticed at job interviews, Tea Party gatherings, conspiracy conventions, and book burnings.

The height of American class and style!

We've all had our low moments in life, doing pathetic things that seemed like a good idea at the time.  You know, like that time you went on a date with an 89-year-old woman just 'cause her perfume turned you on.  Or that time you blew your life savings because a spam email convinced you that "these pils make ur girlfrend ride ur baloney all day and nite."  Or, worst of all, that time you signed up for daily emails from Ann Coulter.  Such ugly, embarrassing things.  Shhh--let us not speak of them again!

However, even though you're feeling as low as you possibly can go, there's something which can rescue you from the abyss of pathetic self-loathing forever.  That thing is buying and wearing one of these horrendous, puke-inducing soul-stirring, beautifully crafted patriotic leather jackets.  Nothing else says it more clearly:  "I'm an American and I live in the U.S.A. of America!"

So go ahead, wear it proudly...because your dignity and pride are truly a distant memory are absolutely worth it.

 

Look at that guy.  Nice hair, too!  If that's not the face of a proud redneck douchebag patriotic stud, I don't know what is!