We've all had our low moments in life, doing pathetic things that seemed like a good idea at the time. You know, like that time you went on a date with an 89-year-old woman just 'cause her perfume turned you on. Or that time you blew your life savings because a spam email convinced you that "these pils make ur girlfrend ride ur baloney all day and nite." Or, worst of all, that time you signed up for daily emails from Ann Coulter. Such ugly, embarrassing things. Shhh--let us not speak of them again!
However, even though you're feeling as low as you possibly can go, there's something which can rescue you from the abyss of pathetic self-loathing forever. That thing is buying and wearing one of these horrendous, puke-inducing soul-stirring, beautifully crafted patriotic leather jackets. Nothing else says it more clearly: "I'm an American and I live in the U.S.A. of America!"
So go ahead, wear it proudly...because your dignity and pride are truly a distant memory are absolutely worth it.
Look at that guy. Nice hair, too! If that's not the face of a proud redneck douchebag patriotic stud, I don't know what is!
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