I started this website back in 2002 after seeing some horrifically tasteless "patriotic" item...I can't quite remember what it was. Probably a WTC snow globe or something awful like that. But after seeing it, I did some Googling on similar items and was shocked at how many there were for sale. Call me naive, but it really took me by surprise how some people would sell anything to make a quick buck off the pain and misery of others, even stuff that was outright tacky. Then I realized that yes, people buy and LOVE this kind of tacky crap. That's almost more offensive than the merchandise itself!
So here we are today, 10 years after the attacks, and people are still buying and selling this crappy, insulting, made-in-China junk which pretends to honor those who were killed. It's disgusting, and I still feel that if you've bought anything remotely like what's on this site, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you truly love the flag and what it stands for, you won't buy a U.S. flag cowboy hat or necktie. Have some dignity and class, will ya!
Anyway, in 2006 I moved the site over to TypePad because I was tired of mucking around with HTML, and it took on a sort of blog format. I haven't posed here much in the last couple of years, but I've wanted to keep the site alive because this kind of crap needs to be mocked. And I do love a good mocking. So today I did some more Googling and managed to scrape up a few more items to mark the 10th anniversary of NYC's tragedy. Let's see what lovely items we have here...
I don't know about you, but I'd feel kinda weird about shaking a WTC snowglobe. That's wrong somehow, isn't it?
You just can't beat the trashy badass-ness of wolves combined with the flag. You just can't. Who cares if it doesn't really mean anything, right? So slap on this shirt, pull on a fresh pair of camo pants, comb those last few hairs over your glaring bald spot, and fire up that goldurned grill. You're a man, you're Amurrrican, and you've got some goddamn wolves 'n' flags on your shirt! Baaaadaaaassssss.
And hey! While you're standin' at the grill in your hot/awesome/kickass wolves 'n' flag shirt, why not also slap on the 9/11 anniversary apron? It's perfect for when you're fryin' up those Freedom Fries, Patriot Burgers, and Terror Dogs.
Here's a close-up of the apron graphic. Basically they took a bunch of 9/11-related words and phrases and stuck them on a flag. Really obvious ones, too, like "terror attack" and "hijack". Wow, I bet this genius design took all of 10 whole minutes once they downloaded the flag clip-art!
The U.S. flag mask is the perfect thing for robbing banks, kidnappings, executions at gunpoint, or just plain scaring the living shit out of your neighbors as you peep through their windows at night. Once people see you with this on, they're bound to see you're a proud American and do whatever you wish. Yes, please take this money! Surely you need it more than I, being the upstanding patriot you are. Absolutely you can kidnap me, why not? I totally trust you now that I see your beautiful mask! Oh, it's you looking through my window? That's OK, I feel much safer knowing it's a true patriot watching me poop and not some crazy freak...
This 10th Anniversary shirt will be SO outdated next year. What happens when the 15th and 20th anniversaries roll around? New shirts! It's genius!!
Nothing says "I'm a tacky but patriotic consumer and I have no taste whatsoever" like a NYC skyline (sans towers) umbrella.
Hey, ladies! Gonna get all slutted dolled up and hit the bars tonight? Why not slip on a pair of these super patriotic heels? Show those men that you've got taste and style, let 'em know you're willing to do "whatever it takes" to honor your country!
Well, that's all I could scrape up for today. But there will always be more just around the corner...
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